Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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