It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
