i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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