I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
