I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
What a dumb baby whore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
