Where is the hickey?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
