I think my fart just growled at me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
