you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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