i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
