They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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