This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
