somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just threw up on my dentist
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
