so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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