I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
