Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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