We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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