Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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