Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
