new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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