I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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