apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
