Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
