I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
