Nicole vs. Life
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize