i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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