So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
