I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
