# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
