I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize