Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
