i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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