we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
