I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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