i permit you to call me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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