I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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