Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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