Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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