the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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