yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
