dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
