What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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