Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize