I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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