Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
well you can't waste a boner
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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