Kiss
Puke
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
