Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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