yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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