uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
