Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
