He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
