You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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