Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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