It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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