We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
