So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
