His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
