Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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