I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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