Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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