I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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