I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
