..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
NoShamevember. You game?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
