Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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