So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Vodka?
Forever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
