Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hippo gnu deer
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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